So I've been thinking of different ways to give the book free publicity. Here's what I've come up with so far:
1) Trash a hotel room during the book tour. The headlines would be something like "Author of 'Greasy Rider' Pulls a Johnny Depp in TravelLodge." Maybe the newspaper would even run my mug shot. I don't know if I should go with the angry-and-disoriented-tousled-hair-Nicholas-Cage-look, or the Tom-Delay-smile-into-the-camera-like-you're-arrested-all-the-time look.
2) Climb the crowd fence and tackle Al Roker, live on the Today show. I'd have to be wearing a big Greasy Rider shirt, or at least yell "Greasy Rider, buy the book!" when I get close enough to his microphone.
3) Start dating Jennifer Aniston. She's available, isn't she? I'm not sure if Dr. Wife, MD, would like this one so much--but she'll benefit from the book's windfall profits. (She should really keep this in mind if she picks up a copy of US Weekly and sees pictures of me cavorting in a Speedo on the beach with Jen. )
4) Start wearing a rainbow colored wig, buy end zone seats for every big NFL game, and unfurl a huge sign for the cameras that says "Book of Greasy Rider" during every field goal try or touchdown.
5) Claim to the national media that I'm Sarah Palin's much-referenced-but-never-identified friend with "alternative lifestyles." (I don't think Dr. Wife, MD, would go for this one, either. Or better yet, I could claim that I WAS Palin's friend with "alternative lifestyles" but got cured after going to a special school. )
Any other suggestions? Feel free to send them to me, or even better, to Lindsey at Algonquin.