Those darn scientists at that super-liberal group known as The United States Government. Once again, they're letting a little thing like science get in the way of politics and ideology. How dare they?
The USGA has determined that climate change might be occuring more quickly than anticipated. Sea levels could rise by as much as four feet within the next century. The American Southwest, which has been under an incredible drought for the past decade, will get drier.
I'm just glad that I won't be around for the worst of this climate change stuff. It'll be my kids' problem. Good luck to them.