UBS, the Swiss bank, is being forced by the IRS to release the names of some of America's richest people, who have been stashing money in the bank to avoid paying taxes.
What happened to the sanctity of being able to hide your dirty money in a Swiss bank account? I'm in so much trouble now. That's where I've hidden my billions in profits from Greasy Rider. (I feel I can admit this now, because the truth will soon come out, anyway.) To soften the blow in the eyes of the public, I'm planning to hire A-Rod's public relations agency.
I'm already practicing my lines: "I was young and stupid. My cousin hid the money in the account for me. I didn't know I was evading taxes. I was too young and stupid."